


All the extremes are on the same team

by Stormyflying22



Category: Centricide (Webseries), Jreg
Genre: Misgendering?, Monopoly (Board Game), Swearing, You Have Been Warned, i mean the literal personification of fascism is in here so.., mouse - Freeform, quie/quiem pronouns, too much shrieking, very short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2020-11-22 16:26:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20877194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormyflying22/pseuds/Stormyflying22
Summary: Daily life of the famed anti-centrists





	1. Enemy invader

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so i really liked the idea of all of them just doing random stuff in the same house and i couldnt find anyone else writing about it on here so in a fit of desperation i wrote my own thing. I am VERY bad at this plz forgive.
> 
> Also if Jreg is actually reading this hello!!! Your channel is awesome!! Sorry for butchering your characters

Things were almost always disorderly in the political extreme apartment. It was sat on a crossroad 1 mile from a mall, a slow social services station, a dirty trailer park and a corrupted police station. It wouldn't be fair otherwise.  
Ancom walked into the kitchen and shrieked at a frequency above that which humans can comprehend. Not particularly because quie wanted to, but because there was no system in place to stop quiem from doing whatever the hell quie wanted.

"Ancom if that's you again i'm selling your cocaine to Ancap and calling ICE on your colored friends."  
Fascist was sitting on a couch, tearing up pieces of newspapers that he didn't like, as most of the extremes were known to do once in a while if things were going slow. Except for Ancap, who kept a neat stash or papers in his room and sold them with more dramatic and flashy headlines once price values have gone up.

"ThErEs a FuCkInG MoUsE!" Ancom shrieked.  
Fascist got up pretty quickly at that and stood deliberating for a while. On one hand he was disgusted by the thought of a parasite, but on the other hand he was excited by the notion of getting to destroy something.

"Comrades, comrades, what seems to be de problyem?"  
Commie had been in his room, building a state of the art rocket that, if strategically used, might provide enough bread to last the collective at least a few seconds. Of course, this would involve freeing alien lifeforms from the grip of intergalactic capitalism, but that would really just be a bonus.

Ancom ran out of the kitchen with a broom that was already caught on fire for no reason.  
"MoUsE!" Quie yelled.

"Ah. An invader! Good tayme to show the strength of the people's militia against outside threat." Commie walked into the kitchen, unflinching and stoic, like a working class hero in the midst of chaos. 

"Suuuka! That's a big ass mouse."

He walked back out just as stoically.  
"Brothers, come, we shall deal with threats together."  
Ancom ran back into quies room and closed the door. "Call me when you're done. Im not preventing the mouse from living its own life." Quie yelled through the door.

Fascist smiled. "Aah. See? He has to let the state deal with unwanted 'guests'. Too much of a pussy to actually fight for his 'liberty'."  
Fascist laughed to himself dryly and took out a gun, walking slowly to the kitchen, whistling. Commie was squatting on a table top with a plate.

"Come out, coward. You are no match for the will of the people." Commie commanded.  
Fascist fired two shots into the floor, at least one bullet of which went downstairs into someone's apartment. But that's alright. They would be dealt with shortly...

The mouse ran out and commie dropped the plate on it. He picked it up to eye level and looked deep into its soul. "Now you will tell us where the rest of your little friends are." Fascist cooed eerily. He had started wringing his hands, ready to do the old expose and dispose trick. 

Ancap walked in, completely unphased, and opened his refrigerated vault where he now kept his bread after the last incident. He looked very non-committaly at the interrogation and started to walk out.

"Freeze, capitalist oppressor! What do you know of this invaders presence in our communal home?" Commie demanded.  
Ancap looked at the mouse through his shades and pretended to be remembering something. "I let it in to sue the landowner for ignoring my health and safety."  
Commie looked at the pig in disdain.  
"You mean OUR health and safety?"

Ancap shrugged and took the plate, remembering how wild animals are getting more profitable to lonely rich losers.  
Ancom bursts through the kitchen again, tired of listening to underground alternative indie punk and mildly concerned about the safety of quies fellow citizen.  
"Put the mouse down! It has a right to this house as much as we do!" quie yelled.

"Not now anarkitty, the big boys are talking with the enemy of the state."  
Commie explained softly before returning to threatening the mouse with Siberian imprisonment.  
"Hey now, this is MY property, why should the mouse be here?" Ancap retorted.  
"What? Didn't YOU let it in?" Fascist piped in, bored with the rodent parasite not disclosing anything of value, and wanting to just shoot it already.

"Well, it should've read the contract." Ancap reasoned thoughtfully, before turning to ancom.  
"If you like it so much, keep it. Free of charge, friend discount!" He tried handing it to the leftie who kept backing away.

"Fuck no! I'm not gonna own anyone! Thats animal cruelty! What if it identifies as a human-its basically slavery!" With that quie was handed the plate and dropped it immediately, shrieking.

"THE ENEMY HAS ESCAPED!"  
Commie announced, leaping after the rodent.  
"DISGUSTING PEST!"  
Fascist pronounced angrily, shooting at the plate.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA." Ancom added wisely.  
Ancap ran out with his bread and wondered if the money these people will pay in rent by the end of their lives will be enough for all of this. He decided that it would, but just barely.


	2. Monopoly time boiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what it says. Family game night except they hate each other and noone wins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof this is definitely a crack series at this point but i can't stooopppppp

"NYET! Why can we not play normal wholesome game, like Sputnik*tm?!"

Commie threw his head back and cursed at the dirty, leaking ceiling. He sat near one edge of the couch with a few bottles.

"Hey, we'll play that when you can pay for your own board games." Ancap said matter of factly, flipping through the monopoly money happily, reveling in its musty money odor.

Fascist was the only one sitting up properly on the couch. He was twirling his gun around his finger and reading the rules. "I don't think the banker gets that much money..."

Ancap chuckled heartily but didn't change anything about the amounts. He always told them to read the rules of things, but that was just for insurance related reasons..

"Anarcat, we will be a collective, da?"  
Commie counted the money and dumped Ancaps extra "host tax" into the box. Ancap scowled at him.

"What's the point? Ancap's gonna win anyways!" Ancom yelled from off of the floor where quie had established quies base. Appropriate sitting surfaces were all social conditioning, anyways. 

Ancap made an overly offended face. He was good at convincing, that much was true. "What? No im not. Why would I ask you to play it if I know im gonna win?"

"Sadism?" Commie offered.

"Right." Fascist tapped on the board with the gun. "I went. Can I buy it?" 

Ancap snorted. "The community chest? No!"  
Fascist looked at him blankly. "Mine."

"Give up the means of the people, kraut!" Commie crossed his arms. He didn't want to be involved in the game at all, but his intrest was piqued by the notion of an enemy.

"Commie, where's all my money??"  
Ancom looked up angrily. Ah, and the state steals from the common people again. Damn politicians and their empty promises.

"You mean OUR money?" Commie held it up, genuinely confused.

"How'd you even- im- you're not even near me??"  
Ancom got up, walking up to the statist and grabbed at the money.

"Ancat! We can talk this out!" Commie put up a hand to block the anarchist and that was pretty much enough to obstruct him instantly.

Ancap slid over and took out a property card.  
"I will nuetralize the leftist threath and give you this card if you give me all of that money." 

Commie looked from his money to the card, and back to his money. "Nyet."

"How about...I hand over two other properties on the rich end?"

Commie looked back at his money and felt a revelation arise in him. He spoke with the voice of the people.  
"I will not participate in your little games, coward. You have no honor or goodwill. You have no loyalties but to yourself. First you come offering great riches, but there is a catch! Ha! There is always a catch!" He pointed at the cold-blooded agitator and pronounced with disdain. "You'd sell your humanity away for some step over your fellow man!"

Ancap groaned and took out two more cards. "Fiiine. Four properties?"

Commie nodded, pleased. "Deal."

Ancap grabbed the money and smiled, shaking commies free hand.  
Ancom stopped attacking and stared at the statist angirly. "Commie! That's not youuurs!!" Quie attacked again.

"You did not neutralize the threat, pig!"  
Commie looked over at Ancap and pointed at Ancom. Ancap shrugged. "You are a leftist threath too. You have been neutralized." He immediatly had ice cold Vodka thrown at him and ducked. "Fraud!!" Commie threw another bottle.

"Is this the hotel piece?" Fascist held up a brown rectangle.  
Ancap stared at it, bewildered.  
"Maybe... How do you have a hotel already?"

Fascist placed it down dramatically and sat back. "Pure skill."

The rest of the extremes stopped what they were doing and looked at the board.  
"FASCIST SUKA, WHY ARE WE ALL IN JAIL?"  
Commie pushed his fist into his hand thretenghly. 

Fascist held up his hands in mock surrender but smiled. "Neglect of your tenants' needs." He held up a post-it-note of tiny fake signatures. "They've sued you for ignoring demands."

Ancap picked up the note only to find it properly documented and dated. "Thats not a thing?!"

Fascist held up a plastic booklet and shrugged.  
"It's in the rules."

Commie took the note and crumbled it. "The tennants will wait untill we have resources."

"Oh, so you think you're above the law?" Fascist crossed his arms and smirked.

Ancom reached under the couch and pulled up an on-fire molotov cocktail  
"Yes."


End file.
